MY COMMUNITY

Honestly, I have been most excited and scared to write the acknowledgments section of my dissertation. How could I ever put into words the deep gratitude I feel for the many people who have helped mold me into the woman I am becoming? My comments here likely won’t suffice, but I pray that I demonstrate, both through my life and my life’s work, how much everyone’s loving investments in me have affected me.

I’ll start as the Saints taught me – first giving honor to God, who is the head of my life. Throughout my life, God has consistently communicated with me in my dreams. I think it is the one time my mind is still enough to receive Their messages. And in the winter of 2015, I had my first dream about graduate school. When I woke up the following day, I thought, “Oh, hell no.” I *barely* completed my bachelor’s degree – it took me eight years with multiple breaks in between to get my degree. When I finally graduated, I felt defeated, damaged, and embarrassed. Most of all, I felt a deep sense of anger at the ways an institution that I had grown to love could do me so much harm. So, when I finally walked across the stage to receive my undergraduate degree, I vowed never to return to academia. Never say never, right?

God was relentless. Much to my confusion, I kept having dreams about attending graduate school. But how could someone with a 2.2 GPA undergraduate attend graduate school? For years that number defined me – functioning as my scarlet letter. It caused me to diminish myself, but God’s faithfulness called me higher. God positioned me in places that rearticulated the futures They preordained for me. They put people in my path who felt compelled to advocate on my behalf, take a chance on me, and challenge me when my expectations of myself were too small. I witnessed God’s love through the beloved community we cultivated. Through interdependence and ‘mustard seed faith,’ the mountains moved, the internalized uncertainty quieted, and the path was cleared. I could never have imagined the painful experiences of impostorism, isolation, and self-doubt I felt in undergrad were conditioning me for what would become both a unique perspective on and a deep commitment to reimagining higher education teaching and learning for racially minoritized students. God truly does use our pain for Their purpose.

Like one of my favorite preachers, Sarah Jakes Roberts, once said, “I want to be filled with Your glory so that I can go out and shake the earth.” This dissertation and my entire research program center on equity and justice because that is Holy. God, the biggest hope for my life is to honor You. May who I become as a scholar, educator, and human in Your world bring You infinite glory.

My family has been the undeniable force behind my success and perseverance. My father was tragically killed when I was four years old. I watched my mom at my father’s funeral make a promise to him that she would always take care of me. My mother has gone far beyond that commitment! She sacrificed so much to make sure that I never wanted for anything and that I could build the life of my dreams. My mom has always been my fiercest protector, most loyal confidante, and trusted confidante. Reflecting on my childhood, I now realize that what she was doing was positioning me. My mother tells me that her dream for me was that I would go farther than she could. However, the reality is that wherever I go, she’s coming with me. All good things in my life directly result from my mother’s love and care. Mommy, the way you love me is redemptive, and I will spend the rest of my life trying to become the woman you raised me to be. I love you more than life itself.

Black folk talk a lot about “play” family, those whom we call “auntie” or “cousin” but are not actually related to us by blood. When I think of my Auntie Ellen, my mom’s best friend for more than 60 years, there is nothing “play” about our bond! Auntie Ellen and Uncle Earl have always been there for our family, and they loved and supported me in significant ways throughout my life. Witnessing my Mommy and Auntie Ellen’s relationship evolve over time provided an important model for understanding the power of kinship, sisterhood, and chosen family. Auntie Ellen, I love you so much!

Now to my sweet, silly, sassy, smart survivor, Cassandra “Sandy” Knox. Sandy technically is my cousin, but she is the closest thing I have to a sister. Twelve years my senior, I always admired Sandy. And if you’ve had the distinct pleasure to meet her, you know why. My sis is a BOSS. I watched her go to college, become a mother, develop a fulfilling career that she loves, and become a wife, all while being one of the most incredible friends and family members anyone could ever ask for. Sandy has survived many hardships in life, most recently beating Stage 3 breast cancer with dignity and grace. Sandy, your belief in our God and yourself inspires me. Your sisterhood helps me dream bigger, both inside and outside academia. THANK YA!

Although I only have a few memories with my father, I have many memories with my paternal family. My mother and beloved Grandma Rodgers worked hard to ensure I knew my kin. I treasure the many memories of trips, hugs, and laughs with the Rodgers family, especially Granny, Auntie Vickie, and my cousin, Kim. Now we get to watch Justin grow up and live the legacy of pride and excellence Granny outlined for us. What a gift it is to be a Rodgers!

I want to express gratitude to my partner, Candace Griffin. Mi amor, your love carried me through this dissertation’s analysis and writing process. Meeting you has changed my life for the better. I can better articulate what I want and deserve from a partner. You are more than I could have ever imagined, and I thank God for you and Savannah’s presence in my life every day. And most importantly, what do you want to eat? I love you!

Then there are friends who have become family. Ashley, my best friend since 2nd grade. I’m so glad I bullied you into being my friend! Growing up with you was such a gift. All the Barbies, French fries, and obsessively repetitive watching Scary Movie 2 and Tales from the Hood were fun, but I cherish our conversations the most. The bond we built is unbreakable, and I am so grateful that I get to do life with you as my bestie. To make things even sweeter, we have our little bestie to add to the mix! Michaela, my sweet little peanut, you are the manifestation of everything we prayed for. I am so proud to be your Godmommy and bestie, and I will always be there for you. I love the Adams family!

Kevin, Gucci, KP da Postman, Charlay, and so many other names that are not appropriate for me to list in a dissertation, YOUR BEST FRIEND IS A DOCTOR! And according to your logic, that makes you, too, a doctor! So honestly, congratulations to you, Dr. Payne. From our first ‘date’ to a Britney Spears concert in fourth grade, I knew ours was a forever bond! Thank you for all the love, encouragement, and pizza money you’ve given me over the years. You will always be the only man I need. Sharlay loves you, Charlay!

Although it was filled with hardships, my time as an undergraduate at Northwestern University was deeply formative. A host of faculty and administrators at NU at the undergraduate and graduate levels supported me in my quest to find myself and my intellectual interests. Special thanks to Mark Hoffman, Susan Johnston Olson, Kenneth Powers, Nsombi Ricketts, Pat Mann, Dr. David Figlio, Dr. Nitasha Sharma, and many others who used their influence to support and encourage me.

Significantly, the relationships I formed at NU continue to reap goodness in my life. Becoming a member of the “Ooh So Fly” Beta Psi chapter of Lambda Theta Alpha Latin Sorority, Inc. changed my life in ways I could have never predicted. As an only child, I always wanted siblings, and I found them through the bonds I made with some people in my chapter. Dra. Judith Landeros and Rev. Dra. Maria Alejandra Salazar (LOL), I am grateful to have been your Chapter Orientation Advisor and soul sister. I am also adding our beloved Jessica Higareda here since she is an honorary Beta Psi sister! We have already lived so much life together, and it has been an honor to go through the highs and lows of life with you two. I know I can always count on you, and I do not take that for granted—unity, love, and respect to you and our beloved Sorors. LOCK UP. Margarita is so proud of us!

During my time at NU, I also formed deep friendships with Aldita Gallardo, Tiffany Walden, and Marrion Johnson. These dynamic folks have been shooting with me in the gym from the beginning. Aldita, my Mamurzst, love is not sufficient enough a word to describe our bond. You are truly phenomenal, and I love witnessing you living boldly and abundantly. You are always a phone call away to remind me of my worth, to hype me up, and to ask, “what about meeeeeeeeeee?” I am excited to witness what is next for us because the Big Gurls are taking over!

My dearest Tucky, what a life you’re building! I remember when we were both struggling to discern God’s path for us but check us out now! You are the Editor-in-Chief of an award-winning digital media platform that reaches thousands of people by telling the truth about Blackness and Black Chicago. You are doing the work you were created to do on your terms, and you always remind me to do the same. I’m so proud of you…even though you’re from the west side (just kidding) …I love you!

Marrionettas! You need to tell me, “I told you so.” You recognized my potential all along! Thank you for identifying something in me that I couldn’t comprehend for myself. You are such a loving and loyal friend, and I am grateful to have you in my life. I can’t wait to return to NU with you and Allen Micheal! Let’s start the hiring campaign. #FutureBlackFaculty

Returning to NU as a master’s student was such a blessing. I became part of a robust intellectual community that supported, challenged, and built my capacity for critical scholarship. Being trained by Dr. Shirin Vossoughi, along with the mentorship and advisement from Drs. Jeannette Colyvas, Paula Hooper, Eva Lam, Carol Lee, Gina Logan, Jolie Matthews, and Miriam Sherin were foundational to my identity as a learning scientist. I also want to express love and gratitude to Drs. Arturo Cortez, Susan Jurow, Ananda Marin, and Suraj Uttamchandani, who have been critical teachers and thought partners to me as I embarked on doing learning sciences work. Moreover, coming up alongside scholars like Drs. Krystal Villanosa and Allena Berry amd members of my cohort like Drs. Mari Altshuler and Addie Shrodes and Future Drs. Jeniece Fleming and Arturo Muñoz taught me how important it is to have community in graduate school. I am so proud of us and the contributions we will continue making to our field!

While working in graduate housing, I met and formed a sisterhood with Dr. Alicia Foxx, Dr. Shoniqua Roach, and Future Dr. Tiara Fennell. Our group text thread still brings me so much joy. I am proud of the women and scholars we are becoming, and I hope to continue to grow in sisterhood with each of you. As Shoniqua would say, “love you deep!”

Rounding out my NU crew is my academic wifey, Dra. Heather McCambly. I met Heather when she was an incoming doctoral student, and over the years, she has become one of my most meaningful friendships. I often think to myself, “What would Heather do,” when faced with what feels like a seemingly impossible challenge. I witness in Heather a fighting spirit, relentless love, and commitment to equity and justice that makes the people around her feel like they, too, can change the world. You’re busting open new pathways for scholars coming behind you to do academia differently – in better and more loving ways. I am so proud of you and love you more than words can ever properly capture.

Who would have imagined my graduate school journey would bring me to sunny California? I was dead set on staying in Chicago, but USC’s prospective student visit days changed everything. I met incredible folks like Laura Romero and Patrick Patterson (and eventually Alex Hazard!), whose superpower as administrators always manifested in loving experiences with students. I also was introduced to Slaughterhouse (the Black Student Collective in the Ph.D. program). Meeting Dr. Antar Tichavakunda and Dr. Marissiko Wheaton (soon-to-be Greer), who immediately made me feel so loved and safe, made me excited to come to USC. But what really sealed the deal was learning that there would be five other dynamic Black women in my cohort! I was hype! And indeed, the Super Six played a pivotal role in getting me to the finish line. Throughout my time in grad school, my cohort mates, Future Drs. Taylor Enoch-Stevens and Akua Nkansah-Amankra have been right by my side. Taylor, God’s presence radiates through you in ways that make you a haven for many people. Thank you for letting me be my most authentic self, praying for and with me, and constantly reminding me that I am neither too much nor not enough—I am always enough.

Akua, my life partner, soul sibling, my bestest friend, you have changed how I show up in relationships. You helped me learn the gift of being vulnerable and letting others care for you. I am so grateful that you are in a context that feeds your mind and soul. Your future is limitless because you are quite literally the most brilliant person I know. Thank you for loving me in ways that call me in, make me better, and fill me up. Our friendship will never end – I’m here to stay, and there’s nothing you can do about it! I love you SO much! 

Now on to my riders, teammates, and beloved clown family, Drs. Ashley Stewart and Josh Schuschke. You all are the people who simultaneously hold me down and lift me up. I still do not remember how we got so close, but I am grateful for our bond. Our group FaceTime calls, inside jokes, and family couch naps are my happy place. Your love and encouragement got me through the dissertation phase, and I am a better scholar and human because of our friendship. Also, the fact that we finally got Josh to say he loves us is an even bigger win than this degree! I love you all more than you will ever know, my sweet sissy and dearest Cuhhhhhhhhhh. You two are everything, and I can’t wait to reunite en la noche de la mañana.

I also want to express profound gratitude and love to Drs. Eric Felix, Cynthia Villareal, Román Liera, Deborah Southern, Steve Desir, and Jude Paul Dizon, who have made a profound impact on my thinking. In their own ways, these folks have poured into me and helped me develop my confidence as a scholar. You are already doing critical work in higher education, and I cannot wait to celebrate all the future success you will have. I love each of you and am so proud to be in community with you!

None of this would be possible without the partnership of my research collaborators – the students and faculty who animate my study. Thank you for inviting me into your classroom communities and trusting me to bear witness to the powerful ways you all learned together. I hope my dissertation honors the love and labor each of you bring to your discipline.

The wisdom and guidance of my dear committee, whom I love so much, helped me reach the finish line. I could not imagine undergoing this process with anyone other than my fantastic advisor, Dr. Julie Posselt. Julie served as an advocate and femtor for me – positioning me early on as knowledgeable, capable, and ready. Her confidence in me helped me to find confidence in myself. Not to mention, her thoughtful and kind engagement with my writing is what helped produce a dissertation that I am proud of. Julie, I’ll say it repeatedly – thank you for taking a chance on me and for leading the Posselt Research Team with love.

Dra. Estela Bensimon, La Mera Mera, working with you helped concretize the type of scholar I want to become. Participating in the equity institutes helped ground my thinking in the form of praxis that was pivotal to my identity development as a burgeoning scholar. You have opened so many doors for me to engage more meaningfully in practice and educational design. I am forever grateful to you for being on my team and helping me realize my value as a scholar and learning designer.  

Dr. Brendesha Tynes, #BlackGirlMagic herself! Being in community with you throughout the years has been such a gift. Thank you for always keeping it real with me about the beauty and hardship of being a Black woman in the academy. You have helped me navigate various challenging situations while empowering me to think creatively and strategically about how I move. Moreover, you are an excellent thought partner. Thank you for engaging my work, pushing my thinking, and encouraging me to articulate my vision for higher education. Embracing my “unique brilliance,” as you might say, has gotten me far. 

Dr. Shirin Vossoughi, I do not even know where to start. The day I worked up the courage to email you changed the direction of my life. What I thought would be an intimidating conversation was the opposite – I left feeling empowered, confident, and loved. You do that for so many students, speaking us into better versions of ourselves. You help us know ourselves and our ideas the way you see them – pregnant with potential. Through all my doubts, you never once questioned whether I’d become Dr. Rodgers. You just helped forge a path for me to get here. It is no doubt that teaching is your superpower, and I thank God that you are one of my greatest teachers.

Last but never least, I want to express gratitude to my cloud of witnesses, Flora Thurmond, Eva Jackson, Mary Rodgers, Rosa Bell, Margarita Vizcarra, and all my beloveds who have become ancestors. I feel you with me, and I carry you in my heart forever.